who I am

I'm a million different people from one day to the next...." And I prefer to be called Rod T. I rather not write about me because I don't know what me I should really show you. I seem like a great contradiction. I say great because I am full of myself. I am also honest with myself. I rarely lie to myself except to get what I want. I'm evil and selfish but never greedy and often generous. I lie, cheat, steal but not often enough to affect my personal integrity. Ends rarely justify my means. But I like the ends. I'm a lover and a fighter, but not good at it. I don't hate truth or beauty or success of others. I do hate. I love more. I hurt more. I inflict pain on those that don't deserve it often. I am infected with dreams and hope. I'm looking for a cure but I have no idea what it will look like. I have failed and succeeded to the point of ad nauseam and fear them both equally. I cant spell or write well. I can speak and connect emotionally with people. I'm fascinated by variety. I like different things. I try different things often to get a better idea of lifes meaning. I don't know much anymore. But everyday I try to know something different or remember it. I'm vain but not prideful. I'm cocky but never arrogant. I like to consider myself funny. But I don't tell jokes. I have shame but not for what you think. I'm often broken hearted but my soul has endured and my body has endured. I'm trying to break the chemical control. I'm trying to be different enough to stand out but not get taken out. I'm a wolf currently shedding my sheep's clothing. And all you black sheep...Yep you guessed it ...you are still sheep. I try to comply but break the rules I deem necessary. Meet me. Greet me. Befriend me